No Unpredictable Erections In Kwazulu-Natal's Nude Beach Is Tolerated! Lol!

If you plan to go skinny-dipping at South Africa's first legal nude beach, make sure you cover up any "unpredictable erections".
You will also have to ensure that you don't "dance provocatively", take photographs without permission, stare at other beachgoers or sit naked on someone else's beach chair.


These are some of the rules being put in place at Trafalgar beach on the KwaZulu-Natal South Coast.

A 500m stretch of the beach, which falls within the Mpenjati Nature Reserve, was given official nude beach status by the Hibiscus Coast municipality at the beginning of November.

It was hoped that the beach would be open for today's World Naturist Day celebrations, but this will not happen because ablution blocks have not yet been built and bylaws governing the beach have not been gazetted.

Said municipal spokesman Simon Soboyisa-April: "The intention is that this be a proper beach with the necessary infrastructure and, therefore, we agreed ... not to rush to officially open the beach. We have set ourselves a target that we must have it officially opened by the 2015 Easter season."

While the final plans are being put in place for the opening, an official "code of conduct" has been drawn up and approved by the municipality and the KwaZulu-Natal Naturist Association, listing 19 things "we do not accept".

According to the code, no photograph may be taken unless everyone in the picture agrees to it being taken and gets to see it afterwards.

Also, staring is not allowed, because "it's rude whether you have clothes on or not".

The code states that there is to be "no sexual content of any kind, for example, dancing in a provocative manner, sitting on someone's genitals, swapping saliva [or] touching genitals. Swaying of hips is allowed, but pole dancing wouldn't be, if you get our point."

It continues: "Always take a towel and make sure you sit on it when on other people's furniture. This is for hygiene reasons such as protecting other people from your sun tan oil, sweat, et cetera."

It also states that "unpredictable erections" must be covered up. "We know they sometimes happen beyond your control. A simple towel covering it up or lying on your front, and no one will notice," it states.

Rude comments are forbidden, as are obscene or offensive language, racism, sexism, homophobia or sexual or erotic material.

"We like to create a harmonious environment where everyone gets along," the code states.

John Skene of the association said the code was accepted across the globe.

"That code of conduct was actually drawn up by the International Naturist Federation and was adopted by the South African National Naturist Association. It's a worldwide thing. It's accepted by all naturist associations," he said.